Who Was That Masked Man?

If you want a lover,
I'll do anything you ask me to,
And if you want another kind of love,
I'll wear a mask for you.
"I'm Your Man", Leonard Cohen

* * * * *

O.K., so it's a weird picture.
Taken in New Orleans after Beth and I bought some beautiful hand-made masks.
(You can think of me as a character from a Pirandello play if you'd like.)

* * * * *

I'm Don.
My Home Page is my "babe magnet".
I hope you're laughing at that because I certainly am.
Actually, I've reached a stasis with women. I no longer go out of my way to pursue them and they kindly return the favor.
Think of what follows below as some tawdry self-advertisement and you'll be close to the truth.
First, let me say that I'm "in" this to have fun and for exchanging email only, at least in the beginning.
I'll probably not ride up your driveway on my white horse nor fly in wearing my red cape to swoop you away.
I won't watch NASCAR with you in my underwear in your double-wide nor will I jump out of a perfectly good airplane or off a bridge with or for you. It's just not me to do those things so please don't ask.
I am however both toilet AND toilet seat trained!
I think the most important questions when you meet someone, to establish the foundation for a long-term relationship, should be:
1.) What CDs or tapes are in your home and/or car stereo system(s) right now?
2.) Do you know how they make Pringles' potato chips? Do you care?
3.) How do you hang the toilet paper, over or under?
4.) Do you feel o.k. when you're alone?
All this doesn't mean I'm not serious or will be dishonest with you.
On the contrary, I'm fairly honest and expect the same from you.
I'd like to find an intelligent and witty woman. Maybe we can laugh together.
I know that "even in Heaven they don't sing all the time" but I also know, the more singing the better!
I'd like to find someone to care for and still maintain that "lightness of being".
I'm not a spiteful or hateful person and neither should you be.
If you like me, that's wonderful. If you don't, I understand. I'm not everyone's "cup of tea".
I promise not to propose to you on our second or third email.
I know I have roughly the same chance of meeting someone here as I do in winning the lottery.
Almost all the relationships/marriages I've seen have been a struggle for domination of one over the other.
One gets worn down over time by the other and gives in. I don't want any part of that.
I hope all that made some sense to you.
I lived in Raleigh, NC with my two cats but moved to the mountains of NC in July 1999. Iím 54 but itís o.k. as Iím immature.
Iím a widower; lovely wife, Beth, died of a heart attack five years ago at the young age of 44.
Iím a college grad and recently retired from a nice job with the state of NC where I helped schools plan for and acquire technology.
I belong to Mensa and was once in "Whoís Who in the East" but it was probably a mistake.
I love music, laughter, and enjoy a good murder mystery.
Lately listening to Counting Crows, Wallflowers, Elvis Costello, Leonard Cohen, John Prine, and the new Dylan CD.
Lately watching Ally McBeal, X-Files, South Park, and Frasier.

That's all there is folks, except for maybe a song.

* * * * *

"Beyond Belief", Elvis Costello
(who I met once and had drinks with at a Holiday Inn in Syracuse, NY after a show and with whom I share a birthday)


History repeats the old conceits
The glib replies the same defeats
Keep your finger on the button issues
With crocodile tears and a pocketful of tissues

I'm just an oil slick
In a windup world with a nervous tick
In a very fashionable hovel

I hang around dying to be tortured
You'll never be alone in the bone orchard
This battle with the bottle is nothing so novel

So in this almost empty gin palace
Through a two-way looking glass
You see your Alice

You know she has no sense
For all your jealousy
In a sense she still smiles very sweetly

Charged with insults and flattery
Her body moves with malice
Do you have to be so cruel to be callous

And now you find you fit this identikit completely
You say you have no secrets
Then leave discreetly

I might make it California's fault
Be locked in Geneva's deepest vault
Just like the canals of Mars and the great barrier reef
I come to you beyond belief

My hands were clammy and cunning
She's been suitably stunning
But I know there's not a hope in Hades
All the ladies cat call and wolf whistle
So-called gentlemen and ladies
Dog fight like rose and thistle

I've got a feeling
I'm going to get a lot of grief
Once this seemed so appealing
Now I am beyond belief

Email: dgw2@citcom.net