More Quotes & Lyrics (page 2)

Remember me, I used to live for music? Remember me, I brought your groceries in? Well it's Father's Day and everybody's wounded. First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin.
--Leonard Cohen--

Well the Lord can make you tumble, the Lord can make you turn, the Lord can make you overflow, the Lord can make you burn.
--Randy Newman's song about the Cuyahoga river in Ohio so polluted it catches on fire.--

They're rioting in Africa, there's strife in Iran, what Nature doesn't do to us, will be done by our fellow man.
--Kingston Trio, Merry Minuet song--

Father forgive us for what we must do. You forgive us and we'll forgive you. We'll forgive each other 'till we both turn blue. Then we'll whistle & go fishing in Heaven.
--John Prine, Fish & Whistle song--

You ougtha see his wife, she's a cute little dish, smokes like a chimney, and drinks like a fish.
--John Prine, It's a Big Old Goofy World--

Well it's clear I shoulda gone to school, I coulda been wise as an owl, 'stead of stubborn as a mule.
--John Prine, It's a Big Old Goofy World--

A bishop, upon being told of his election, said, "I have heard the truth for the last time."

Dr. Kavorkian makes house calls.
--Don Weiser--

And thanks for the trouble you took from her eyes, I thought it was there for good, so I never really tried.
New York is cold but I like where I'm living. There's music on Clinton Street all through the evening.
I hear that you're building your house deep in the desert. Are you living for nothing now? Hope you're keeping some kind of record.
--Leonard Cohen, Famous Blue Raincoat--

Like a bird on a wire. Like a drunk in a midnight choir. I have tried, in my way, to be free.
--Leonard Cohen, Bird On a Wire--

I said to Hank Williams how lonely does it get? Hank Williams hasn't answered yet, but I hear him coughing all night long, 100 floors above me in the Tower of Song.
--Leonard Cohen, Tower of Song--

When the Gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.
--Out of Africa, Isaac Dennison--

"About 3 drinks." Humphrey Bogart, when asked what separated him from other actors in Hollywood.

Reach out your hand if your cup be empty. If you cup is full may it be again. Let it be known there is a fountain that was not made by the hands of men.
--Grateful Dead, Ripple--

You who choose to lead must follow, but if you fall you fall alone. If you should stand then who's to guide you? If I knew the way I would take you home.
--Grateful Dead, Ripple--

We work our jobs, collect our pay, believe we're gliding down the highway, when in fact we're slip slidin' away.
--Paul Simon, Slip Slidin' Away--

And I donít know a soul whoís not been battered, I donít have a friend who feels at ease. I donít know a dream thatís not been shattered, or driven to its knees.
--Paul Simon, American Tune--

Haven't you heard? It's a battle of words and most of them are lies.
--Pink Floyd, Us and Them--

All in all, you're all, just another brick in the wall.
--Pink Floyd, Another Brick in the Wall--

It's coming on Christmas, they're cutting down trees, they're putting up reindeer, and singing songs of joy & peace. Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on.
--Joni Mitchell, River from the album Blue--

All good dreamers pass this way someday, hidiní behind bottles in dark cafes, dark cafes.
--Joni Mitchell, The Last Time I Saw Richard--

And the radio is in the hands of such a lot of fools trying to anesthetize the way that you feel.
--Radio Radio, Elvis Costello--

That chewing gum you like is coming back in style.
--The midget from Twin Peaks--

Oh, as I was young and easy, in the mercy of his means, time held me green and dying, though I sang in my chains like the sea.
--Fern Hill, Dylan Thomas--

The older I get, the more I believe in entropy.
--Don Weiser--

"To be or not to be", when seen in the light of 20th century philosophy such as Sartre or Heidegger, becomes a fundamental question of existence.
--Don Weiser--

For all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, "It might have been".
--John Greenleaf Whittier--

Be wary of all beds but especially hospital beds, people have been known to die in them.
--Don Weiser--

Letís get married, weíve been alone too long. Weíll be alone together, letís see if weíre that strong.
--Leonard Cohen, Waiting for the Miracle--

Well Iíve been to the Louvre museum in France, it wasnít that pretty at all so Iím going to hurl myself against the wall cause itís better to feel bad than to feel nothing at all.
--Warren Zevon--

Sorry, you donít have any new mail.

I went down to the Chelsea Drugstore to get your prescription filled. I was standing in line with Mr. Jimmy, a man said he looked pretty ill. We decided to have a soda, my favorite flavor, cherry red. I sung my song to Mr. Jimmy, he said one word to me and that was "dead".
--You Canít Always Get What You Want, Rolling Stones--

I think that I shall never see, a poem quite as lovely as a me.
--Don Weiser--

I majored in Philosophy. My area of interest was infinite regressions.
--Don Weiser--

"Please watch with calm, these barbarous displays, which could not happen nowadays. The men of that time, mostly now demised, were primitive; we, are more civilized."
--Herald from the play "Marat Sade"--

So if youíre walkiní down the street sometime, and spot a pair of hollow ancient eyes, please donít just pass Ďem by and stare, as if you didnít care, say "hello in there, hello".
--Hello In There, John Prine--

Each to his own way, Iíll go mine, best of luck with what you find. But for your own sake remember times we used to know.
--We Used To Know, Jethro Tull--

Nights of Winter turn me cold, fears of dying, getting old. We ran the race, the race was won by running slowly.
--We Used To Know, Jethro Tull--

At dawn my lover comes to me,and tells me of her dreams, with no attempts to shovel a glimpse into the ditch of what each one means. At times I think there are no words but these to tell whatís true, and there are no truths outside the Gates of Eden.
--Gates of Eden, Bob Dylan--

The kingdoms of experience in the precious wind they rot, while paupers change possessions, each one wishing for what the other has got, and the princess and the prince discuss whatís real & what is not, it doesnít matter inside the Gates of Eden.
--Gates of Eden, Bob Dylan--

Pointed threats, they bluff with scorn, suicide remarks are torn, from the foolís gold mouthpiece the hollow horn, plays wasted words proves to warn, that he not busy being born is busy dying.
--Itís All Right Ma, Bob Dylan--

Aní though the rules of the road have been lodged, itís only peopleís games that you got to dodge, and itís allright Ma, I can make it.
--Itís All Right Ma, Bob Dylan--

Although the masters make the rules, for the wise men and the fools, Iíve got nothing more to live up to.
--Itís All Right Ma, Bob Dylan--

Old lady judges watch people in pairs, limited in sex they dare to push fake morals, insult & stare, while money doesnít talk, it swears, obscenity, who really cares, propoganda, all is phony.
--Itís All Right Ma, Bob Dylan--

The peddler now speaks to the Countess whoís pretending to care for him, sayiní, "Name me someone thatís not a parasite, and Iíll go out and say a prayer for him".
--Visions of Johanna, Bob Dylan--

The daily beatings will continue until morale improves.
--The Management--

Iím no Communist but Communism failed and Capitalism triumphed because Communism assumed a goodness in human beings which Capitalism knew did not exist.
--Don Weiser--

In American homes, there are more TVs (94%) than telephones (92%). [Amazing.]
--Source, SUN Microsystems--

To paraphrase T. S. Eliot, modern man confuses data with information, information with knowledge, and knowledge with wisdom.
--Don Weiser--

Hey baby, I'm out of favor, you can't always be the right flavor. It just seems that no matter what you do, someone somewhere somebody gotta punish you.
--Nobody Hurts You, Graham Parker--

One thing women know and men have to learn is that, love is what goes on between a caring couple when theyíre NOT having sex.
--Don Weiser--

When the angels play for the Gods, they play Bach. When they play for themselves, they play Mozart.
--author unknown to me--

If you think about it, Christianinty rests on one woman, married to one man, pregnant with another manís baby, and covering her guilt by telling the child over & over & over again that God was its father. The child, product of a psychotic mother, believes the story and grows up to be Jesus.
--Don Weiser--

When the dancer steps on the toes of his partner, he apologizes. He does this to lessen the damage done to his own self-ideal of not being clumbsy as much as for hurting his partnerís feet.
--Don Weiser--

They sent me to a Java class but I turned out to be Neanderthal.
--Don Weiser--

The birds they sang at the break of day. Start again, I heard them say. Donít dwell on what has passed away, or what is yet to be.
--Leonard Cohen, Anthem from "The Future"--

"How do you know that you are God?", psychiatrist to Peter OíTooleís character in "The Ruling Class". "I know because each time I pray to God, I find I am talking to myself."

Well the deputy walks on hard nails and the preacher rides a mount but nothing really matters much, itís doom alone that counts.
--Bob Dylan, Shelter from the Storm--

And though the holes were rather small, now we know how many holes, it takes to fill the Albert Hall.
--A Day in the Life, The Beatles--
I now know what kind of "holes" they were talking about. Do you?

Cancer: extreme reproduction and over-population incapable of any feeling which chokes out and kills other life forms resulting in the death of the host.
Mankind: the same.
--Don Weiser--

If this is truly the kind of world where huge dinosaurs can evolve into birds and take flight, there may yet be hope for puny mankind.
--Don Weiser--

Save your neck or save your brother, looks like its, one or the other. Oh, you don't know the shape I'm in.
--The Band--

Has anybody seen my lady? This liviní alone will drive me crazy. Oh, you don't know the shape I'm in.
--The Band--

"Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet."
"My child was inmate of the month at the Milpitas youth facility."
"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
"I love cats...they taste just like chicken."
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"Cover me. I'm changing lanes."
"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools."
"Happiness is a belt-fed weapon."
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep."
"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."
"Tow-ers will be violated."
" least our cows are sane!"
"The gene pool could use a little chlorine."
"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."
"Don't blame me, I'm from Uranus."
"Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!"
"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."
"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS."
"Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips."
"Friends don't let Friends drive Naked."
"Wink, I'll do the rest!"
"I took an IQ test and the results were negative."
"Where there's a will, I want to be in it!"
"Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"
"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"
"Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!"
"It's lonely at the top, but you eat better."
"Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!"
"Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!"
"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."
"Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
"We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."
"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."
"He who laughs last thinks slowest."
"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."
"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies."
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy."
"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."
"i souport publik edekasion."
"The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette."
"We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated."
"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."
"3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't."
"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"
"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... untill you can find a rock."
"I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles."
"I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die."
"Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off."

Heroes & other celestial beings: Bob Dylan, Sartre, Camus, Kant, Hegel, Hume, Tom Waits, Randy Newman, John Prine, Truman Capote, Eugene OíNeil, Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Dylan Thomas, Leonard Cohen.
--Don Weiser--

Everybody knows you love me baby, Everybody knows you really do. Everybody knows that youíve been faithful, give or take a night or two.
--Everybody Knows, Leonard Cohen--

Now maybe thereís a God above, but all Iíve ever learned from love, is how to shoot at someone who outdrew you.
--Hallejulah, Leonard Cohen--

Have you ever noticed.... Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
--George Carlin--

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
--George Carlin--

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.
--Richard Harkness, The New York Times, 1960--

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
--Mark Twain--

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
--Hunter S. Thompson--

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
--Mark Twain--

Nike, THE athletic footwear to be wearing when youíre meeting that special UFO!
--Don Weiser--

You were the spice of life, the gin in my vermouth, and though the sparks would fly, I thought our love was fire-proof.
--Indoor Fireworks, Elvis Costello--

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
"How do you feel about women's rights?" "I like either side of them."
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
My mother loved children---she would have given anything if I had been one.
From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
--Groucho Marx, 1890-1977--

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
--Winston Churchill (1874-1965)--

A friend is someone who will help you move; a GOOD friend is someone who will help you move a body.

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.
--John Kenneth Galbraith--

Even a mosquito doesn't get a slap on the back until it starts to work.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Mistakes are often the stepping stones to failure.
Even a turtle would never get anywhere if he didn't stick his neck out.

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
--Ambrose Bierce

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
--W.C. Fields--

Beauty lies in the hands of the beerholder.

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. - Lady Astor to Winston Churchill - Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. --His reply

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomaches.
--David Daye--

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
--Oscar Wilde--

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman--

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
--Tom Waits--

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
My wife of over thirty years never knew I drank until I came home sober one day.
Beer is good food.
--Charles Bukowski--

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
--Deep Thought, Jack Handy--

Confucius say - It's better to have beer in hand than gas in tank.
Life is too short to drink cheap beer.
Beer - it's not just for breakfast anymore.
Beer: Nature's laxative.
Beer. If you can't taste it, why bother!

One more drink and I'd be under the host.
--Dorothy Parker--

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.
--Dave Barry--

When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.
--Postpetroleum Guzzler, Dave Barry--

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry's Bad Habits--

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
--Dave Barry--

My problem with most athletic challenges is training. I'm lazy and find that workouts cut into my drinking time.
--A Wolverine is Eating My Leg--

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
--Humphrey Bogart--

Friends don't let friends drink Light Beer.
If nothing beats a Bud, given the choice, I'd take the nothing...
Draft beer, not people!

Adhere to Schweinheitsgebot. Don't put anything in your beer that a pig wouldn't eat.
--David Geary--

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
--David Moulton--

Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons.
--Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949--

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
--Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943--

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year."
--The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957--

"But what ... is it good for?"
--Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.--

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
--Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977--

Everything that can be invented has been invented.
--Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.--

640K ought to be enough for anybody.
--Bill Gates, 1981--

A man in my neighborhood, being friendly, invited me to a meeting of the "Optimism Club". It meets three times a week, he said. I said no thanks. If it has to be reinforced that often, itíll have no hold on me.
--Don Weiser--

The lovely magician has gone, taking the magic, the Spring, and the garden with her.
--Don Weiser--

Heart and soul, body and mind, Heart and soul, body and mind, Meet me on the river of time.
--River of Time, Van Morrison--

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

If people slept more, including the President, the world would be a better place.
--Don Weiser--

Some will die in hot pursuit in fiery auto crashes. Some will die in hot pursuit while sifting through my ashes. Some will fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain, that is pouring like an avalanche comin' down the mountain.
--Pepper by Butthole Surfers--

I met a woman, 30 years my junior. She loves me and overlooks my body. I love her body and overlook her.
--Don Weiser--

A dog trusts its life to its human completely. A cat remains in charge of its safety. This lack of complete trust confounds dog people, while cat people understand it.
--Don Weiser--

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
--E. W. Dijkstra--

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I.....I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
--Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken--

"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."

There's only one way to find out if a man is honest. Ask him. If he says yes, you know he's a crook .
--Groucho Marx--

Whenever A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X, A is a scoundrel .
--H. L. Mencken--

Chaos is the score upon which reality is written .
--Henry Miller--

Never do anything standing that you can do sitting, or anything sitting that you can do lying down .
--Chinese Proverb--

The Earth has a skin and that skin has diseases, one of those diseases is man .
-Fredrich Nietzsche--

Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good .
--H.L. Mencken (1880-1956)--

The search for truth is more precious than its possession.
--Albert Einstein--

It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.
--Arthur C. Clarke--

Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
--Ernest Hemingway--

The most common lie is that which one lies to himself, lying to others is relatively an exception.

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
--George Bernard Shaw--

All that is gold does not glitter, not all those that wander are lost.
--J. R. R. Tolkien--

Why do old men go deaf? Because they choose to.
--Don Weiser--

My days have crackled and gone up in smoke, have puffed and burst like sunstarts on a stream. Yeah, faileth now even dream the dreamer and the lute, the lutanist.
--The Hound of Heaven by Francis Thompson--