Quotes & Lyrics (page 3)

The meaning of life is that it stops.
--Franz Kafka--

So long ago I don't remember when, that's when they say I lost my only friend. Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease as I listened through the cemetery trees.
--"One Headlight", The Wallflowers--

I got bones beneath my skin, and mister there's a skeleton in every man's house. Beneath the dust and love and sweat that hangs on everybody there's a dead man trying to get out.
--"Perfect Blue Buildings" - Counting Crows--

Because I could not stop for Death, He kindly stopped for me, the Carriage held but just Ourselves, and Immortality.
--Because I could not Stop for Death, Emily Dickinson--

The older we get, the more dead people we talk to.
--My email friend Karen--

I've been watching you for hours, it's been years since we were born. We were perfect when we started, I've been wondering where we've gone. All your life is such a shame, all your love is just a dream
--"Murder of One", Counting Crows--

You’re either on the bus or off the bus.
--Ken Kesey--
We’re all bozos on this bus.
--Firesign Theater--

When I had no wings to fly, you flew to me. You flew to me.
--"Attics of My Life", Grateful Dead--

Goin’ home, goin’ home, by the waterside I will rest my bones. Listen to the river sing sweet songs to rock my soul.
Going to plant a weeping willow, on the banks clean edge it will grow grow grow. Sing a lullaby beside the water. Lovers come & go, the river rolls rolls rolls.
In a bed, in a bed, by the waterside I will lay my head. Listen to the river sing sweet songs, to rock my soul.
Fare you well, fare you well, I love you more than words can tell. Listen to the river sing sweet songs, to rock my soul.
--"Brokedown Palace", Grateful Dead--

43,767 people were injured by toilets last year.
--Factoid on CNN Headline News on 9/3/97--

I like to think of the world as a gigantic restaurant.
--Woody Allen--

Earthbound designer of planes, landlocked builder of ships, Virgo's nimble watchmaker mind ticks on. A circle is perfect but the world isn't round. Virgo can prove it.

In the room the women come and go talking of Michelangelo.
--"The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock", T. S. Elliot--

Why don't we sing this song all together? Open our minds, let the pictures come, and if we close all our eyes together, then we will see where we all come from.
--"Sing This All Together", Rolling Stones, from "Their Satanic Majesties Request"--

The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.
--Martha Washington--

Oh I used to be disgusted and now I try to be amused. But since their wings have got rusted, you know the angels wanna wear my red shoes.
--"Angels Wanna Wear My Red Shoes", Elvis Costello--

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors, and furniture polish is made from real lemons.
--Alfred E. Newman--

And I am waiting for forests and animals to reclaim the earth as theirs and I am perpetually awaiting a rebirth of wonder.
--"I Am Waiting" from "A Coney Island of the Mind", Lawrence Ferlinghetti--

And I am waiting for the final withering away of all governments and I am perpetually awaiting a rebirth of wonder.
--"I Am Waiting" from "A Coney Island of the Mind", Lawrence Ferlinghetti--

They arrested me once for misappropriation of funs, I wasn't havin' any and wasn't lettin' anyone else have any either. They locked me up in a room full of clowns 'till I got better. When I began havin' fun again, they let me go.
--Don Weiser--

1st Jewish woman at upstate NY resort, "You know, the food here is terrible!" 2nd Jewish woman, "I know, and such small portions!"
--This is how I view life, Woody Allen--

But I'm stubborn as those garbage bags that Time cannot decay, I'm junk but I'm still holding up this little wild bouquet.
--"Democracy", Leonard Cohen--

I got stopped by a cop the other day. He said, "Why'd you run that stop sign?" I said, "Do you believe everything YOU read?"

There is a war between the rich and poor, a war between the man and the woman. There is a war between the left and right, a war between the black and white, a war between the odd and the even.
--"There is a War", Leonard Cohen--

You may call my love Sophia, but I call my love Philosophy.
--"Sense of Wonder", Van Morrison--

Woody: "Doc, my brother thinks he's a chicken." Psychiatrist: "Hmmm, you'd better bring him in." Woody: "I would but we like the eggs."
Woody: "That's how I feel about love. We do it for the eggs."

If I had a conscience, man I just might blow my top. What would I do with it anyway? Maybe take it to the pawn shop?
--"Highlands" from "Time Out of Mind", Dylan--

I'm goin' down to the river, down to New Orleans. They tell me everything's gonna be all right, but I don't know what all right even means.
--"Tryin' to Get to Heaven" from "Time Out of Mind", Dylan--

Well my sense of humanity has gone down the drain. Behind every beautiful thing, there's been some kind of pain. It's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there.
--"Not Dark Yet" from "Time Out of Mind", Dylan--

I met my old lover on the street last night. She seemed so glad to see me, I just smiled. And we talked about some old times and we drank ourselves some beers, still crazy after all these years.
--"Still Crazy", Paul Simon--

In a statement released just moments ago, the White House vehemently denies reports that President Cliton's Library, now under construction, will contain the President's personal collection of "Penthouse" and "Hustler" magazines.
--Don Weiser--
It's about your zipper, stupid.
--Don Weiser--

Travel light in life; take only what you need. Good friends, simple pleasures; someone to love, and someone to love you, enough to eat, enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink for thirst is a dangerous thing.

It has been discovered that lawyers are the larval stage of politicians.

Don't worry, everything matters so nothing matters.

Any animal that would chew its leg off to escape a trap knows much more about freedom than any mere human ever will, is far superior, and deserves our respect.
--Don Weiser--

The secret to happiness? Music, Vitabath, warm water, a glass of Merlot, and a candle or very dim lights.
--Don Weiser--

It's not about sex Mr. President, it's about honesty, deception and the truth.
--Don Weiser--

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
--E. W. Dijkstra--

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I..... I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
--Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken--

The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.
--Oscar Wilde--

When a true genius appears in this world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.
--Jonathan Swift, Thoughts on Various Subjects--

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
--Churchill or Albert Einstein-not sure--

Society attacks early when the individual is helpless.
--B. F. Skinner--

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.

To live outside the law you must be honest.
--Bob Dylan--

Under peaceful conditions the militant man attacks himself.
--Friedrich Nietzsche--

Reverence for life affords me my fundamental principle of morality.
--Albert Schweitzer--

Mad; adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech, and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves; at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that they themselves are sane.
--Ambrose Bierce--

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
--E. E. Cummings--

Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them.
--Maggie's Farm, Bob Dylan--

It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.
--Herman Melville--

No man chooses to become either a philosopher or a poet; these callings choose the men for themselves.

Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.

Whenever A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X, A is a scoundrel.
--H. L. Mencken--

Never do anything standing that you can do sitting, or anything sitting that you can do lying down.
--Chinese Proverb--

The ink of the scholar is more sacred than the blood of the martyr.

Adolescence is a dirty joke God played on humanity.

The universe is not indifferent to intelligence, it is actively hostile to it.

The most common lie is that which one lies to himself; lying to others is relatively an exception.

The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.
--Peter F. Drucker--

The superfluous is very necessary.

All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost.
--J. R. R. Tolkein--

Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality the cost becomes prohibitive.
--William Buckley--

What do you take me for, an idiot?
--General Charles De Gaulle when a reporter asked him if he was happy--

The tendency of liberals is to create bodies of men and women-of all classes-detached from tradition, alienated from religion, and susceptible to mass suggestion-mob rule. And a mob will be no less a mob if it is well fed, well clothed, well housed, and well disciplined.
--T.S. Eliot--

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge where there is no river.
--Nikita Khrushchev--

The individual will always be a minority.
--Oliver Wendell Holmes--

None climb so high as he who knows not whither he is going.
--Oliver Cromwell--

We don`t know a millionth of one percent about anything.
--Thomas Alva Edison--

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.

When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.
--George Bernard Shaw--

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.
--H. L. Mencken--

Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad.
--Aldous Huxley--

Accuse: To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged them.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Law and Politics}--

Love: A temporary insanity cureable either by marriage or by removal of the influences under which he incurred the disorder. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than the patient.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Love and Hate}--

Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Altruism and Cynicism}--

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Wealth and Poverty}--

Education: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the fool their lack of understanding.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Wisdom and Ignorance}--

Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted into each others' pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Law and Politics, War and Peace}--

Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Altruism and Cynicism}--

The covers of this book are too far apart.
--Ambrose Bierce {Altruism and Cynicism}--

Helpmate: A wife, or bitter half.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Love and Hate}--

It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
--Ambrose Bierce {Vice and Virtue}--

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Altruism and Cynicism}--

Misfortune: The kind of fortune that never misses.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Success and Failure}--

Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
--Ambrose Bierce {Wisdom and Ignorance}--

Riot: A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {War and Peace}--

Vote: The instrument and symbol of a free man's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Law and Politics}--

Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Law and Politics}--

In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary, "patriotism" is defined as the last resort of the scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer, I beg to submit that it is the first.
--Ambrose Bierce {Law and Politics}--

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am."
--Ambrose Bierce {Wisdom and Ignorance}--

Pray: To ask that the laws of the universe be nullified on behalf of a single petitioner, admittedly unworthy.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Science and Religion}--

Incompatibility: In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Love and Hate}--

Coward: one who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
--Ambrose Bierce {Vice and Virtue, War and Peace}--

Beauty: That power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Life and Death, Men and Women}--

Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Life and Death}--

Cannon: An instrument used in the rectification of national boundaries.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {War and Peace}--

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Altruism and Cynicism}--

Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Science and Religion}--

Hatred: A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Love and Hate, Success and Failure}--

Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
--Ambrose Bierce {Wisdom and Ignorance}--

Happiness: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
--Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Love and Hate, Success and Failure}--

All the places I've been, make it hard to begin, to enjoy life again from the inside, but I mean to!
--Inside, Jethro Tull--

Since we're all on the Titanic, we may as well go First Class.

In politics stupidity is not a handicap.

Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

Well I want to be your lover baby, I don't want to be your boss. Don't say I never warned you, when your train gets lost.
--It Takes a Train, Bob Dylan--

Get back to your roots. Eat rutabagas and turnips.
--Don Weiser--

As far as finding a mate at my age, I now see that just by staying alive, I increase my odds tremendously!
--Don Weiser--

I've been down this road walkin' the line, I have made mistakes in my life that I just can't hide. I believe I am ready for love. Got myself together, now I'm ready to say, I've been searchin' my soul tonight, I know there's so much more to life. Now I know I can shine the light, find my way back home.
--Ally McBeal theme song--

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I will show you a man who can't get his pants off!
Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.
Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid.
Young at heart. Slightly older in other places.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid doing altogether.

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
--Mae West--

We are not human doings, rather, we are human beings.

The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
--Lily Tomlin--

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
I am Woman. I am Invincible. I am Tired.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
Motherhood: the longest guilt trip you'll ever take.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.
Motherhood: Another reason why we need God's constant help.

Gotta find a woman be good to me. Won't hide my liquor try to serve me tea.
--Easy Wind, Grateful Dead--

Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money.
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?

I've been thinking. There's either no-one driving this bus (which I strongly suspect is the case) or the driver is an uncaring unthinking bastard with a warped sense of humor.
--Don Weiser--

I've been thinking. If, according to a government survey, almost 40 years of poverty programs, Affirmative Action, and sundry other government programs have not helped blacks reach equality with whites, maybe it's not the programs that are to blame.
--Don Weiser--

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend.
--Robert J. Vogel--

You take my hand, I'll take your hand, together we may get away. This much madness is too much sorrow, it's impossible to make it today.
--Down by the River, Neil Young--

My Mother, depressed and wishing she were dead for every day of her now 78 years, is "living" proof that you can not wish yourself away.
--Don Weiser--

If the Democratic party insists on being the party of minorities, it is only fitting that it become a minority party.
--Don Weiser--

Because when the smack begins to flow, then I really don't care anymore about all the Jim-Jims in this town and all the politicians makin' crazy sounds and everybody puttin' everybody else down.
--Heroin, Velvet Underground--

Looks like freedom but it feels like death, it's something in between I guess.
--Leonard Cohen--

I watched you suffer a dull aching pain, now you've decided to show me the same. Faith has been broken, tears must be cried, let's do some living after we die.
--Wild Horses, Rolling Stones--

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

I'm a Virgo. I make neat and orderly messes!
--Don Weiser--

I understand he's quite popular back in his own country.
--N.Y.C. cop assigned to crowd control at a Garth Brook's concert.--

I voted for Bill Cliton. Twice. I don't like very much that he's the first President who's younger than me. What I like even less is that he's having more sex with more women than I am!
--Don Weiser--

Renowned for his love for and practice of routine, it is said that Kant's neighbors set their clocks by his morning and afternoon walks.

It seems that what President Cliton has done is to give some people hungry to suck up to power, something to suck on.
--Don Weiser--

I have fathomed the Creator's Master Plan for the Universe. It involves extreme neglect along with a healthy dose of loathing.
--Don Weiser--

Americans obviously want Clinton in the White House, although NOT alone in the parlor with their wives and daughters.
--Russell Baker--

It now appears there may have been ulterior motives in the President's very strong support of women in the workplace.
--Don Weiser--

My cats are so human. They like a safe warm dry sunny place with plenty of food, a nice clean bathroom, and, just like people, they love me for what I do FOR them.
--Don Weiser--

If some misguided person tries to tell you that we are all, adults and children both, unaffected by the violence all around us, be it video games, movies, or the news; that person is either lying to you or takes you for a fool.
--Don Weiser--

Maybe our next president should be a really old man, or maybe a really ugly man, or maybe not a man at all.
--Don Weiser--

I don't date women my age. There aren't any.
--Milton Berle--

"I think it would be a good idea."
-- Mahatma Gandi (1869-1948) when asked what he thought of Western civilization--

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or starts to leak.

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18.
--Mark Twain--

What a man knows at 50 which he didn't know at 20 is, for the most part, incommunicable.
--Adlai Stevenson--

Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
--Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach (1905)--

Old age is when your former classmates are so gray, wrinkled, and bald that they don't recognize you.
--Bennett Cerf--

A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
--Groucho Marx--

Young men want to be faithful and are not. Old men want to be faithless and cannot.
--Oscar Wilde--

On Growing Old... First you forget names. Then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull your zipper up. Then you forget to pull your zipper down.
--Leo Rosenberg--

Do not regret growing older. Many are denied the privilege.

You have to love people of faith. Some, by a quirk of fate, are spared death by killer tornadoes, and are sure they felt the Hand of God spare them. Which begs the question what God was giving the 43 neighbors killed in the same storm? The finger?
-- Don Weiser--

Nature practices random acts of both beauty and terror.
--Don Weiser--

My fortune cookie today said, "Wise men learn more from fools than fools from the wise". So, let's talk.
--Don Weiser--

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

One cat just leads to another.
--Ernest Hemingway--

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
--Joseph Wood Krutch--

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.
--Hippolyte Taine--

No heaven will not ever Heaven be, unless my cats are there to welcome me.

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life, music and cats.
--Albert Schweitzer--

Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God. You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats.
--Colonial American proverb--

Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.
--Joseph Wood Krutch--

I've had 18 straight whiskies, I think that's the record.
--Dylan Thomas' last words--

I think I understand the "why" of global warming. It's not all fossil fuel emissions, chloro-fluoro-carbons, etc. It's easy really, we're turning the Earth into Hell, as if on some sad perverted mission.
--Don Weiser--

At that time my heart was all broke, I looked like ashes and smelled like smoke. And I turned away from my loving kind. Try to leave my body and live in my mind but it's much too much emotion to hold it in your hand. They've got waves out on the ocean, they're gonna wear away the land.
--Line 'em up, James Taylor--

If you think man is close to nature, take a walk down a street in a large city, then go for a walk in the woods.
--Don Weiser--

Camus was right, man's relationship to the world is one of absurdity. Years ago, and not that many years ago, when people were killed by a tornado, and some spared, it was seen as a random act of God, or even worse, that these people killed had somehow lived a sinful life and had angered God. Today, with science, we understand these people died because the Pacific was slightly warmer than usual. Both views are equally absurd to me.
--Don Weiser--

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. From what I've tasted of desire, I hold with those who favor fire. But if it had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate to say that for destruction ice is also great and would suffice.
--Fire & Ice, Robert Frost--

If it can be done it is not a bad practice for a man of many years to die with a boy heart.
--Carl Sandburg--

There must be some kind of way out of here, said the joker to the thief, there's too much confusion, I can't get no relief. Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth, none of them along the line know what any of it is worth.
--All Along the Watchtower, Bob Dylan--

No reason to get excited, the thief, he kindly spoke, there are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke. But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate, so let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late.
--All Along the Watchtower, Bob Dylan--

Email: dgw2@citcom.net